You don't have to be a hedge fund to capitalize on the dollar's woes and the globe's gains.

When it comes to seriously huge money - the kind that shows up on the balance sheets of the Forbes 400 crowd - stocks are rarely the store of value.

The world's wealthiest investors know better. To the big guys, stocks are for chumps. They know what you and I have learned over so many, many years of working the markets: The system is rigged against the individual investor - in favor of the guys that have the big money, as well as those on Wall Street who work to gather as much of other peoples money as quickly as possible and in as much quantity as possible.

That's why the S&P 500 has been a loser's gambit for so many years. Buy the usual suspects of the stock market driving the S&P 500 and you'll lose money - just like the average investor did, losing more than 23 percent in price movement alone during the last decade.

Moreover, those losses in the crummy US stock market have been further compounded by the other crummy store of value - the dollar. In fact, if you add the fall of the dollar against the euro to the nominal loss in the S&P 500 - the average US investor lost more than 46 percent for the same past decade.

Where the Serious Money is Invested

When it comes to investing, the mega money guys really are different from their less well-heeled brethren. They don't just go along with the stock pickers of Wall Street. Nor do they keep plopping down their dough on generic stock market allocations year after year in hopes that if they just keep the faith, Wall Street will deliver them to the next level of the Forbes list.

Nope, the heavy money goes elsewhere: to global bonds. Here is the inner sanctum of mega investors worldwide, and the part of the market that's like an exclusive membership organization - no mere mortal investors welcomed in.

Even during the past year's wicked market and economic turmoil, you can see that the bond market was where money was being made hand over gilded fist. Take a gander at the income statements of Goldman Sachs (GS) and JP Morgan (JPM) over the past few quarters.

What you see is soaring trading income from their bond desks - manned not just with their own version of Tom Wolfe's masters of the universe, but beefed up with the spoils of the liquidations of Lehman Brothers and Bear Stearns that brought more of the best and brightest talent to fatten up the coffers of these successful Wall Streeters.

In fact, while the guys churning and burning S&P stock portfolios were going down for the count, Goldman turned in one of its all time biggest quarterly profits - thanks primarily to their bond trading.

And if you look at some of the industry insider surveys of accounts, you'll see that their best clients - those guys you see and read about on the Forbes 400 list - loaded up 70 plus percent of their portfolios with the best of the world's bonds either directly or via hedge or other privately run funds.

No wonder. Intermediate and longer term US government bonds have generated nice returns over the past decade - more than 68 percent. And the returns for the government bonds of Europe have done even better, soaring by more than 175 percent during that same period.

This was my area of responsibility for many, many years. I came from the world that served the serious money guys and honed my skills working the bond markets to garner the highest yields and the biggest gains from bonds scattered around all corners of the globe.

And while there isn't direct access into this market for those of us that aren't on the Forbes list - or running hedge funds - there is a way we can equalize the bond investment enterprise.

The equalizer comes in the form of my favorite closed-end investment companies.

These aren't stylish. They don't have huge marketing campaigns like their ETF (exchange traded fund) competitors, who broadcast endless pitches on cable financial shows.

The ETF fund managers have gigantic entertainment budgets to induce newsletter gurus and online media guys to push their wares - generating huge fee- and trading income that feeds Wall Street's prime brokerages. Meanwhile, the closed-end guys just keep their heads down and quietly make money in markets that typically have been open only to the serious money guys.

Where to Invest YOUR Serious Money

Do you want to be able to get your cut of double-digit yields and huge gains as the dollar does its drunken promenade and the rest of the globe keeps raising its credit ratings and credibility?

You should. And for those that have been reading me in my previous role as editor of Personal Finance newsletter and now in this journal - you have.

I'll start with AllianceBernstein Global High Yield (NYSE: AWF). This fund makes even the stellar returns of US and European government bonds look like losers. How about a return for the past decade of 322 percent?

And it's not just one of those hyped long term numbers - but a real one that proves out year after year. Heck, just in the past 12 months - investors have more than doubled their investment.

The guys running this closed-end portfolio put the money in bonds of markets from anywhere they can get big yields and make gains as governments outside the US get their acts together: Brazil, Indonesia, Columbia, South Korea and plenty other markets.

And since it's a closed-end investment fund that doesn't have a hyped up marketing arm - a fund that can be bought like a regular stock on the NYSE - it trades at more than a 5 percent discount to what its portfolio assets are actually worth. Buy it. Keep buying it. And yes, enjoy the dividend yield running just shy of 9 percent.

And after you've bought that one - keep building up your own Forbes 400 mega money portfolio with my four other bond funds that work to form the bedrock of my core portfolio. They continue to include the Blackrock Income Opportunity (NYSE: BNA), Pimco Strategic Global (NYSE: RCS), Templeton Emerging Markets (NYSE: TEI) and the Western Assets Emerging Markets (NYSE: ESD, which merged with Western Assets Emerging Markets Floating Rate - EFL).

It's this ensemble that will be the equalizer for your portfolio, because we all deserve to have the same access to what the serious money has been buying for all of these years.